Unexpected pregnancies among college women pose difficult challenges, choices

Editor's Note: This is the fourth in a four-part series by Kyless Dalamata about the choices faced by women who find themselves pregnant before they are ready to face the challenges of motherhood.

By Kylee Dalmata
Norwich Guidon Staff Writer

As rare as it may occur, doctors can misdiagnose just about any condition, and when it happens, results can range anywhere from miniscule to life altering. Katie's was one of those that fell on the larger side of the scale.

A sophomore at Norwich, Katie, who asks that her real name not be used, found herself in a situation she had been promised would never happen. Katie had been told that she could not get pregnant, so when she found out in November that she was, she was understandably shocked.

Katie describes herself as Pro-life, and as such would never think of an abortion. "But every person is a different case," she said. "Others have their reasons, but I want to keep my baby."

Since Katie was told that she could not become pregnant, she thought it wasn't an option. "I thought, I can't get pregnant. I don't have to worry about anything; okay, I'll have fun," she said.

She used no protection, thinking that it was an unnecessary precaution. But when she found out that she was, in fact, pregnant, she told the man she knew to be the father.

Originally, she told him that he didn't need to do anything. "I'm not asking him to marry me, or anything. The only thing is to help me out with the baby, and he was okay with that in the beginning."

But since then things have changed in the relationship. "He doesn't want to help out. He thinks I lied to him in order to get pregnant," Katie said. " I don't know what he is thinking."

When Katie told him originally that she couldn't get pregnant, she was going off of information given to her by doctors six years ago.

"When I was 12, I was raped by an older guy; he was 20," Kate said. "I found out I was pregnant, and about two months later he came back and beat me up. I had a miscarriage."

Katie knows that this chance at having a child is a miracle in itself, and she isn't willing to pass that up, despite problems. "I ended up pregnant when they said I couldn't, and this is my last chance; if I have an abortion, that's it."

She had told the father that she had had a previous pregnancy and that she lost the child. She told him that, because of this, she could not get pregnant again. "This guy misunderstood; he thought I had had an abortion before."

She tried to reason with him, telling him that the doctors had been wrong, and she could not have known.

"I said, you don't understand, I wouldn't want to have an abortion. First of all, the doctors told me I couldn't have a baby."

"In the beginning, he told me he didn't want it, but he didn't pressure me to get rid of it."

He had a girlfriend then and still does now. From what Katie knows, they plan to get married.

Katie told him at the start that he didn't have to be involved, and he seemed okay with that until he told his girlfriend. Right after that, he started hinting to her to get an abortion. "He never said it, but I could tell," Katie acknowledged.

He was helpful for awhile. "He would come over and check to make sure I was okay, but since he told her, he's stopped. Two weeks ago, he said 'I don't want to deal with you.'"

Confused by the change in behavior and what this would mean for the future, Katie called him recently to discuss it.

"I wanted him to come by to talk, because originally we were going to split the costs, but he told me that he didn't want to see me in person, that anything we needed to talk about could be done over the phone," Katie said. "Originally he agreed to take me to the hospital and to help out with the bill."

Now he says he doesn't have to. Katie doesn't understand that, because it could cost him more in the end through childcare. With the cost of school, and now the baby to think of, Katie is strapped for money, but fortunately not for support.

"My friends and rook buddies have been very supportive," Katie confided. She also got a great deal of help form Reverend Wick and spoke with the commandant's office, trying to find help.

She has help at home, as well; her family is behind her decision and waiting for her to come home so they can help her search out the Medicare and other funding that might be out there for her.

"I have family support, but they don't know everything. They know he doesn't want to help, but not that he has a girlfriend. I don't want them to be even more mad at him then," Katie said.

Keeping this from her family is not the only thing complicating her pregnancy, though. The previous miscarriage puts her new child at risk, as well. "My body needs lots of rest; I must be very careful, because of the risk of miscarriage."

Her doctor wants her in bed from here on out, but Katie insists she can't do that here at Norwich. " I'm already behind in my classes," she said.

Besides that, Katie has back problems from an injury in PT last year. That, as well as the weight of the baby, is doing a number on her physically.

As far as the future is concerned, Katie is looking forward to raising her child, although she is sad that she cannot do it while attending Norwich.

"I wanted to come back, but I can't live off campus with my baby and be in the corps." Instead, she is planning on going to school locally, where she can be near her family and her child.

Problems and rumor mill aside, Katie does not regret this happening, or that it happened here. "People have been really helpful; they ask how I am doing, if I am okay."

Katie admits that people on campus found out so late in the pregnancy that there wasn't much to say, so there wasn't much pressure. "Maybe if they had known, someone would have helped me out a little more."

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