Professionals, counselors stand ready to help with domestic violence

By Christi Rinehard
Norwich Guidon Staff Writer

Even though the problem of domestic violence has become more visible in the spotlight of public attention, there is still a large population of people who are silently suffering from abuse.

“Approximately three to four million adult women in the United States are severely abused each year by intimate partners,” said Dr. Tina Foster, MD, general practitioner, White River Junction, Vermont, adding that 92 percent of “women who were physically abused by their partners did not discuss these incidents with their physicians; 57 percent did not discuss these incidences with anyone.”

Women who are perceived as strong and independent, Foster explained, often will not report abuse because they are embarrassed. Other women simply feel that they are alone and have no place to turn.

Foster said that physicians are trained to look for signs of abuse, but battered women usually do not “look battered. Abuse can be physical, sexual, psychological, verbal and/or economic.”

The overall aim of the violence is to assert power and maintain control, Foster said, and abusive relationships are generally not violent when they begin, but become increasingly so over time.

Kristin K., a battered wife who asked that her last name be withheld, said “I had always considered myself strong, and I couldn’t believe how controlled I had become.”

In addition to beating her, her husband had control of the finances, refused to let her maintain friendships and constantly demeaned her by making her feel worthless.

She would often justify his actions by saying that “he is such an adoring father, I don’t want my children to be fatherless. He would never hurt his children.”

Only after leaving him did she realize that her children would be much better off living away from the violence.

“Children who witness violence are more likely to show more anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, anger, and temperament problems than children who did not witness violence at home," according to Violence Against Women Online Resources. “Children from homes where their mothers were being abused have shown less skill in understanding how others feel and examining situations from others’ perspectives.”

Moreover, domestic violence in same-sex relationships appears to be as common as in heterosexual relationships, according to Foster. Many gays and lesbians face additional obstacles because of homophobia in society and the fear that police will not take action.

Police can arrest abusers, helping the abused obtain a protective order, or assisting in getting the victim to a hospital or battered women’s shelter.

Vt. Sen. Patrick Leahy announced that two federal grants totaling $817,922 will be awarded to combat domestic violence in Vermont, adding to a $702,000 grant he announced in August, and $47,257 awarded in June to Vermont police departments to promote partnerships with community organizations working to address what is mostly an urban problem, but one whose effects are also felt in rural communities. Leahy said, “Vermont is a leader in efforts to combat domestic violence.”

According to the Violence Against Women Organization, help is available to anyone who needs it: call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Counselors are available 24 hours a day to help the abused person to safety.

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