A first-hand account of the terrorist attacks on the twin towers of the World Trade Center

Editor's Note: This account of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade center was sent to The Norwich Guidon by Rob Colatarci through the business department. Rob, a 1995 Norwich graduate , is currently enrolled in the Norwich MBA program. Rob works for an investment firm in the World Financial Center in New York City, across the street from where the World Trade Center was. He posted these reports to his professor and classmates in the MBA program.

Sept. 12, approximately 2:00 a.m.

Looking back about 17 hours, I was leaving for work with my book under my arm thinking about how beautiful a New York Day it was going to be. My job seemed to pick up steam last night on a call with Tokyo, and it looked like I might be headed back overseas.

As I arrived at work, my cell phone rang; it was my fiancee. A plane had just hit the World Trade Center. "No way," I thought, "It must be some stupid joke from her morning radio show." I looked up to see everyone running to one side of the building. Today, I had to be offsite in Raritan Center by Perth Amboy, NJ, for meetings.

As I slowly walked to see what everyone was running about, I saw the smoke billowing over the horizon. Oh My God. Not only am I a Business Continuity Planner, I wrote the plans for my division in the World Financial Center. I am responsible.

For those of you who don't know what the World Financial Center is, it's the beautiful glass complex between the Trade Center and the water. I don't feel so good.

I'm thirsty. I want a cigarette. Is this real? This can't be real. It looks too much like a movie.

Suddenly, I went on autopilot. The next 14 hours are a blur. Accountability. Do we have everyone? OK, What next? Lets set up the command center. Why aren't people doing what I ask? Why is that woman crying over there? What the hell is going on? What have I learned about being a leader, and can I apply it?

Now, I'm in a location I can't write in this posting due to security precautions. I'm sitting next to the COO and General Counsel, and the President's on the phone. What are we going to do? Well sir, this is what we're going to do. Its all in the plans we wrote. We're going to be in great shape.

I don't quite care at this point if it's in the Ohio or Michigan study of leadership. The defining characteristic of a leader is quite simple today. Leaders step up. Period. If you don't step up, then go find a corner to cry and get out of the way. The rest of us don't have time for your unwavering insecurity and inability to make decisions. We have employees that could be dead. We don't have time to worry about all the touchy feely stuff. We have to figure out what we're going to do tomorrow.

I will be off-line for a few days, most likely. I ask that you please take this as my posting. I also ask that you try and keep your hearts and minds with all of the loved ones we have lost, and with our mental conditions. Things are much worse than you see on TV, and it's time to do what I learned at the Wick. It's time to step up.

I don't mean to write this paper using so much first person, but right now, I wanted to give you an idea of the chaos and of what one of your classmates is going through.

Sept. 12 - 9:14 p.m.

Interestingly enough, as this disaster unfolds and the buildings fall, the Human Resources aspects become more and more important. "Leaders step up," I said, referring to individuals in tough situations. Leaders must also be the organizations as a whole, expressing teamwork, a solid front, and standing behind those whose necks are on the line.

Today, things started to get in line and the shock started to wear off. We've made our damage assessments, and we've determined our goals. We've started putting the pieces back together. A major piece that needs to be put together is the psyche of our employees. For that, we have a team of psychologists (Remember my comment in the last lecture? Can I take it back?), and we have set up and made very public the human resources hotline and the Employee Assistance Program hotline. Beyond that, our managers are taking it upon themselves to periodically interview the employees and keep tabs on the situation.

One woman has lost her daughter for the time being. I say "for the time being," because you never know when they could pull another live body out of the heaps.

There are people calling from inside the piles on their cell phones, and even one who has Internet access via a wireless modem. At my company, we have a saying: "Be Bullish" If its OK with all of you, I'd like to be bullish on the survivability of the collapses. I've rationalized how people could have survived, and I'm going to remain bullish. It is imperative to stay positive and never give the impression that we have any doubt at all. Doubt is like a bad cancer.

As a corporation, we have pulled together in a way that is nothing less than remarkable. The leadership here is astounding. Simply astounding.

Yesterday, I was on autopilot. I wanted to make sure we started off in the right direction towards recovery. Too often, inactivity can be destructive. I think I remember this being in the Troop Leading Procedures. Receive the order, start moving, formulate a plan, and so forth. (I'm sure I have them screwed up; -what can I say, I'm a bad Lieutenant).

It's hard, because while I was responsible for the development of our Business Continuity Plans, I am not responsible for the execution. I can only hope that the senior managers listen to me and stick to the plan.

So far, it seems that although the plan is not being opened, the plan is being followed. I'm pretty happy with this. Today, we stopped moving a bit as we came out of the Emergency Phase and moved into the Recovery Phase. I found myself bored. I copied notes. I made a phone contact list, even though I had one. I read my Strategic Human Resources Book (seriously). I wanted to keep my brain busy and focused away from the horror. As soon as I had nothing to keep my adrenaline going, I started to fall into a deep depression. Activity seems to be fighting the depression off. It's pretty funny, because I'm using this almost as an excuse to learn cool new parts of the business I never even dreamed I'd be working on -like Human Resources and Corporate Communications strategies.

After about twenty minutes of sleep, I came back to work and realized I had a headache. I went to the infirmary and told the nurse that, first, I thought I was dehydrated, so I drank a canteen (OK, three bottles of Poland Spring), then I told her maybe it was the aspirin I took on the empty stomach, so I ate a bagel, then I thought it might be the pulled muscle in my neck, but that wasn't it, either. I had a headache, and I hadn't slept. This was absolutely stress related. So she took my temperature (low grade fever) handed me a handful of Motrin, and back to work I went. "Ain't got time to bleed."

Suddenly, I felt a whole lot better. I was being stopped by stress. Only wimps have that problem. Not me. I went to the Wick. I'm Tough. I think. The down time is the worst.

I have to keep my mind busy, or I'll get messed up. Too many people depend on my knowledge and judgment to let the stress screw me up. Plus, my folks didn't send me to the most stressful place in the world for nothing... I don't mean to appear full of myself or too cocky, as I know it sounds. But I feel like if I don't keep this self-image, I'll crash.

I feel like this sense of knowing that what I set up is the best that it could possibly be is important to those around me. If I don't believe in the plans, will they? I know they work, like you know that two plus two equals four -to impart that sense of security is totally different, especially in the face of the worst disaster in history.

I was trained to write Business Continuity Plans and to write them well. I was trained for this. So I decided that I'd try to chronicle the events for the class and hit on some points as you guys respond. I really could use that. Maybe Professor Nixon could clear having just one group for now with everyone in it? I really think I'm in a good position right now to learn a lot and to help impart that to others. Maybe every day Professor Nixon could put another topic up there for me to respond to how it fits with all this... and you guys could respond to that. Can you all help minister to me? Writing this stuff has become like a form of therapy for me. I know I'm asking a lot, but these are some pretty extraordinary circumstances. Looking back to my training, I understand how important a sleep plan is. I've now been up since about 4:00 a.m., and only had about 30 minutes of sleep. It is now time to get some sleep- if I can.

Sept. 13 - 8:01 p.m.

I write, "What day is today?" because when I tried to remember the day of the week, I couldn't figure it out. In all reality, it doesn't matter, so I think I've stopped tracking things like that.

I am remembering a time a few days ago when my boss and I were discussing a career change/future career options for me. A comment he made was that I'd never get an ulcer in this job.

As things wind down after another day of insanity, I'm feeling a bit retrospective. I've had such a range of emotions that I would have a hard time putting them all down on "paper." All of you have seen me run the gamut through my postings. I'm looking back on the past few days, and I still can't believe that I'm an actor in the sickest play ever written.

If thanks were measured in piles of rubble, I thank you all of Lower Manhattan. You have allowed me to have this horror run through my fingers and into this "classroom."

You have supported me and written words of encouragement that I will forever be grateful for. Once again, the brotherhood that I call The Wick has shown its face.

I can say with complete confidence that being a Norwich grad and student is the best thing anyone could possibly want to be. The pain that I am feeling is not only counteracted by the Norwich family values, it is superseded to a point that I can rely on it to drive on.

For all of the messages I am getting about this great Nation of ours, I wish that I only had the words to write to describe the Norwich family and all of you. For all of the Ivy Leaguers running around here (including the Princeton grad to my left), none of them are lucky to have what I have.

When they say Essayons, they think they're talking French. When I say it, I want to cry. They may have gone to fancy schools with lots of Ivy, but I, I went to THE WICK!!

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